once a while moment of emotion

Recently i don't really feel like i am myself...
maybe growing up brings me to a stage where
it don't seem to be the same.. people once say its much better to stay ignorant but than again isn't it better to be aware?

i guess you get some of each... i have learned alot. the more i know the more complex my mind is.. friends, love, cellgroup, parents,people character their reactions...
Seriouslly i have to admit i m really really exhausted.. i m not really good at showing out my anger or have heart to heart talk with people... its not dat i don't trust my good friends..i do love them in a sisterly and brotherly way... but its just the way i am...
writting has been the way i express my anger my frustrations... my sadness my happiness....
i do have a diary of my own....lol.... its like i m totally outdated ...
i feel breathless at times... its so so hard to please people... thought i know i dun hv to please every1 but no one seem to get it.... the world doesnt consist of us alone we r in the mist of those who r just different from us in alot of way....
love the unlovable...easily said hard to acomplish...

i was like Lord , Help me why is it so hard? i believe he has his time for everything...jus dat..
now a days i feel so dry like drain out.... so emotional... i can just easily cry... mayb m kinda broken inside....

Today i went for classes it was okay... learn quite a bit... got exams coming up... mock exams the college want to test us..
its so hard to please my parents i m seriously very stressed i don't really know when i will break down..... i m jus hanging my a tread with myself.... am really not myself.... haiz.....
... at times when the surface looks good but after magnified i m jus disapointed its so messed up.... i m not refering to myself but i just need to get it out of my system.... i don't really like how this world works.....though we don't belong here but its here we have to be now...

i heard a song that somehow touches my heart... it seems so dreamy untrue...
i find it hard to love love a person.. i m trying to open up to 1.. not official..
my fren ask me today "madelyn recently got any1 woo u?" i kinda answer it roughly...
my gud fren kinda help me out there...
i can't really explain ... for now...
for now i m really confuse ...
when i m sober i will tell u more...